You have read this story countless times.

There is the martyr wife. She sacrifices everything for the family.  After marriage, she spends her whole time taking care of the house, cooking, washing, and cleaning.  She takes care of the family.  She has no time for herself.  In return for her ’sacrifice’, she makes the husband feel obliged and expect therefore that he returns the favor by being ‘loyal’.

Unfortunately many times it does not work.

The husband feels guilty and stays with the family, but Later on he finds a mistress.

The mistress does not make him feel guilty.  She does not impose. She listens and makes him feel good.

The husband feels the need to feel good because he feels the yoke of guilt for so long.  Hey, we all want to feel good.

This is not a moral story, but a story to be learned in business.  How much ‘influence’ can be had by making people feel obliged and guilty?  Do you know people who work long hours and expect rewards even in the absence of good results?  They supposedly sacrifice this and that ( and you don’t know what for?), and because of it, you were supposed to give them a little bit more out of a sense of guilt.

Yes, it does work, but only for a time.  Nobody wants to feel guilty, and if people are doing things for you because you made them so, you will for sure not enjoy success for long.   Because at the end people want to feel good.

If you want success, you should make people successful and feel good about working with you.  That’s the thing that will endure….

si filemon, si filimon

My Orchestral band for which I play the piano, the Asian Troubadours have recently released its Timeless Visayan and Russian Classics CD.  The CD contains 7 enduring Cebuano/Visayan folk Classics, and details of its release can be found in their site.

In addition to promoting Cebuano folk songs in music, we will be releasing a series of MTV featuring their music and performances.

Si Filemon, si Filimon is the first of the series. It is a lighthearted song about a fisherman’s travels to catch the bounty of the sea and returned emptyhanded.  It is a folk song popularized in the 60s and 70s by Yoyoy villame, and is mostly sang in parties and celebrations, as well as festivities.   comments are welcome!