“Chocolate Is Bad,” Study Says
Sunday, September 25th, 2005
Think chocolate is harmless? A study performed by a team of freshman cosmetology students has determined that chocolate is bad for human consumption. Laboratory experiments involving rats have shown evidence that the decadent delight can cause severe health problems and even death.
“The results of our research are shocking,” said Mildred Sisk, A Senior Washroom Attendant for the Institute of Advanced Cosmetology Science.
“We took five hundred rats and dunked them in a vat of chocolate for thirty minutes.
Surprisingly, not even one survived. If chocolate does this to rats, imagine what would do to a human body.”
Ms. Sisk’s theory has been challenged by some in the scientific community who claim that, more than likely, the cause of death for the rats was drowning. “Those folks don’t know anything. They’re just jealous because they didn’t thing of it first,” stated Ms. Sisk. “They weren’t there and didn’t see what I saw. Besides, when humans eat chocolate, it coats the inside of the body, so in reality, the body is suffocating from the inside out.”
Further testing is scheduled using live chickens.